Rebuilding Relationships: Embracing Balance, Healing, and Partnership 

“What about me?” 

It took these three words for me to realize I needed to make a change in my marriage. 

During an argument, my husband (who was feeling overlooked) stated and asked: 

“You do an amazing job managing finances and making decisions, but you don’t even consult me. I feel like I’m at the bottom of the list. Who am I? How can I contribute?” 

Those words hit me hard. Like many women, I was juggling the roles of mother, wife, friend, and professional all while unknowingly sidelining my husband. 

He had been relegated to the background, not because I didn’t value him, but because I was so caught up in the daily grind that I forgot the importance of partnership. 

In the following lines, I will tell you more about the challenges I faced, how I managed to strengthen my relationship with my husband, and how we established balance in our marriage.

The Challenge of Navigating Expectations 

Healthy relationships require balance and mutual respect, but this can be complicated by societal expectations. 

Toxic masculinity conditions men by discouraging vulnerability and emotional expression; conversely, women are expected to take the lead in managing household responsibilities and as well as providing love, care, and emotional support. 

Dr. Jamie Huysman correctly explains “A healthy relationship isn’t always 50/50. Sometimes it’s 20/80 or 60/40, depending on the season of life.” 

What matters most is that both partners meet in the middle and stay flexible – ensuring that each feels heard and valued.” 

When one partner takes on too much or too little, it creates an imbalance that can lead to resentment or disconnection. 

Striking a balance means understanding that roles can shift and evolve, and true partnership is built on compromise. 

Steps to Foster Balance and Respect 

To rebuild my relationship, I began focusing on ways to better support my husband and nurture our connection through these five steps: 

1. Seek Input and Share Decision-Making 

Involving your partner in decisions about the household or family life shows that you value their perspective. Even small gestures, like asking for their advice, can go a long way. 

2. Celebrate Strengths 

Acknowledge your partner’s talents and contributions, whether it’s fixing things around the house or being a loving parent. Simple compliments in private or in front of others

can boost their confidence and strengthen your bond. 

3. Support Their Dreams 

Take an active interest in your partner’s goals and encourage them to pursue their passions, whether it’s advancing their career or picking up a new hobby. 

4. Communicate with Empathy 

Practice active listening, validate their feelings, and use non-verbal cues like tone and body language to show respect. 

5. Balance Emotional Labor 

Share the load when it comes to managing the emotional dynamics of your relationship and family. This helps both partners feel equally valued. 

How Trauma Impacts Relationships?

For many, unresolved trauma – in the forms of emotional neglect, narcissistic abuse, or childhood adversity – complicates relationships that are already challenging. 

Trauma manifests as anger, fear, or difficulty trusting – creating barriers to healthy communication and connection. 

Dr. Jamie emphasizes that understanding and addressing these underlying issues is crucial for building stronger partnerships. “Healing from trauma requires self-awareness, professional guidance, and community support. Relationships thrive when both individuals commit to their own growth as well as the growth of their partnership.” 

STAR Network is Your Partner in Healing 

At STAR Network™ – a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization – we provide resources and support for individuals struggling with trauma, CPTSD, and toxic relationships. Our mission is to help people heal, rebuild, and thrive. 

• Free Virtual Support Groups: TAR Anon™ provides a safe, nonjudgmental space for participants to share their experiences, gain insights, and find community support. 
• Educational Resources: Access practical tools and information on navigating trauma, improving relationships, and fostering resilience. 

Transformation is Possible 

Building a balanced and healthy relationship isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. 

Whether you’re healing from past wounds, learning to communicate better, or rediscovering connection with your partner, you don’t have to do it alone. 

Join STAR Network and TAR Anon – Discover a community that understands, a space to heal, and tools to rebuild your life and relationships. Your journey starts here.