Have you ever wondered why, despite all the love, effort, and sacrifices you put into a relationship, it still feels like you’re walking on eggshells, always questioning your worth, and wondering if you’re the problem? That was my reality for years.
I thought I had found “the one” in my ex-partner. The relationship started with fireworks—love, passion, excitement. But as time passed, subtle criticisms turned into full-blown attacks, and what was once a warm embrace felt more like a suffocating grip. I convinced myself that this was normal, that love meant sacrifice, and that if I tried harder, if I loved more, everything would change.
I remember constantly asking myself, “Why do I feel so lost? Why do I feel so small?” Yet, I stayed, convincing myself that it was just a rough patch.
It wasn’t until I found myself isolated from friends, ignoring my family’s concerns, and accepting hurtful behavior as the norm that I realized something was wrong. It’s incredibly tough to see the full picture when you’re stuck inside it, especially when you’re blinded by love or fear of being alone.
What I didn’t realize then was that I was caught in the “hurt people hurt people” cycle as Dr. Jamie says—a psychological phenomenon where individuals who have been hurt or experienced trauma often end up hurting others. Both my ex-partner and I had unresolved pain from our pasts, but instead of healing together, we ended up damaging each other more. I felt trapped, convinced that I couldn’t do better, and worried that maybe I caused the problems.
Does this sound familiar?
Breaking Free from the Cycle
It took years to realize that I was worthy of love, respect, and happiness. And breaking free from that toxic relationship was the hardest, yet most liberating decision I’ve ever made. But I didn’t do it alone—I sought guidance, support, and the strength to face the truth I had been avoiding. And now I can say: I am a STAR—a Survivor of a Toxic Abusive Relationship. It’s a title I carry with pride because it means I found the strength to rise above the pain and reclaim my life.
Many of us fall into toxic relationships due to unresolved traumas and fears, thinking that love will eventually fix everything. But here’s the truth: you can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick. You need support, guidance, and clarity to find your way out.
You Deserve the Truth and Support
If you’re questioning your relationship, feeling lost, or wondering if you’ll ever find happiness, know that you’re not alone. STAR Network has created a safe space called TAR Anon where you can find the answers and support you need. We believe that everyone deserves a place to heal, grow, and transform—where every survivor can shine like the star they truly are.
STAR Network’s mission is awareness, transformation, and self-love. We help STARs, Survivors of Toxic Abusive Relationships, on their journey to healing. Through our peer support meetings, community, and resources, we provide a lifeline for those ready to take the first step toward breaking free.
And if you’re ready, we invite you to join us—become an ambassador, help spread the word, donate, or simply stand with us. There is hope, and there is healing. Remember, you deserve to shine like a STAR, because you are a STAR!